**BIG site news. HUGE. My good friend and former teammate Brendan Gleason is coming in with the assist here. Brendan is not only L.A.’s hottest comic, but also the former greatest shooter in the history of Panther Basketball (Unfortunately, for Bren, he only held that title for two years until I swooped in and took it from him), and the unstumpable king ‘what was the theme song for that TV show.’ So, welcome Brendan, he’ll be posting here as regularly as he is able. Without further ado, I kick the ball to the corner where Bren is spotted up:
I like entertainment. Thatʼs part of the reason I became a stand-up comedian. The other part is because I have a high threshold for psychological pain. Alot of people enjoy watching television in their spare time, whereas itʼs not spare time for me when I watch, but just time. The time i spend away form the tube is my spare time. So with that said, Iʼve compiled a list of the TV show that most represents some of players on the 2011 Tampa Bay Rays. Iʼd love to hear your take.
Evan Longoria – “Arrested Development” – Only been a couple of years, but is already one of the best ever. His bandwagon needs to be careful of hop-ons. Itʼs gonna get some hop-ons.
Johnny Damon – “The Simpsons” – Itʼs been around long enough to have several “best of” episodes, and even though it will surprise you with a good effort every now and then, the best years are definitely in the rear view.
BJ Upton – “LOST” – I donʼt fully get him, but i love to watch. He embodies so many characters from that show. He can be a leader, a con-man, someone who doesnʼt speak the language or a fat guy who canʼt make it to first base without slowing down. He remembers the 2008 playoffs and keeps screaming, “WE HAVE TO GO BACK!”
Ben Zobrist – “Quantum Leap” – He takes on so many different roles that sometimes I think Maddon puts him in situations that even Zobrist doesnʼt know are coming. Joe Maddon: “You need to bat lead off and do some middle relief work” Zobrist: “Oh Boy!”
Scott Fuld – “Wipeout” – Itʼs exciting, and I didnʼt expect it to be. Really fun to watch, and you know thereʼs going to be diving and sliding involved.
Jeff Neimann – “Mad Men” – Which one is more boring? I donʼt know the answer. Neimann can be such a boring pitcher sometimes, that i half expect him to put on a suit, start drinking scotch in between innings and pat the bat girl on the rear whenever he passes her.
Dan Johnson – “Saturday Night Live” – 8 skits out of 10 are going to be pretty bad…but every now and then they knock one out of the park. Johnson truly is a not ready for primetime player.
James Shields – “The Event” – Itʼs good but frustrating because it should be so much better. Plus, both had undeserved nicknames. The Event was called “the next LOST” and Shields was dubbed “Big Game James”(a moniker that should stay with James Worthy)
Kyle Farnsworth – “The Closer” – hopefully. I donʼt want to change this to “The Fall Guy” in a few months.
Desmond Jennings – “Untitled Lorne Michaels Project” – itʼs not out yet…but keep your eyes peeled for it. They should both be great.
Manny Ramirez – “Seinfeld” . It was one of the best when it was going, but people will always remember it for itʼs disappointing finale. Plus i think around season 7, people used to say of the sitcom, “itʼs just Seinfeld being Seinfeld”. No Hall of Fame for you!!









I’m still waiting for Kyle Farnsworth to ask me I know who Rollo Tomassi is
That’s some good stuff. Keep ‘em coming!
First, I’m horrified by the revisionist history in the introductory paragraph. Second, welcome Brendan! All the time you spend away from your real job is a benefit to the universe.
i assume mark thinks that because he shot every time he touched the ball, he had to be the best shooter. Vegas put the odds on a 9th grade bricklemeyer(who looked 28) in the panther sharpshooter contest.
How mad is Carl Pavano after last night’s game, by the way?
History’s written by the winners Brix!
“not ready for prime-time players”. That was old school. Well played.
In that case, Mark and Brendan should have a “Point / Counterpoint” article. The question is…who will play Jane?
F-ing Brilliant. For a guy who cares very little about the Rays or TV, you somehow made me read this whole thing and enjoy it. I actually got all the cross relations…
How in the world did you find your way into a Rays blog if you don’t care about the team, I wonder?
Quantum Leap!! One of my alltime favorites
Great stuff, I’m already excited to read more
it only took15 years for Mark to give you an assist! At this rate he will never get to double figures.
Great stuff, keep it coming.