Posted by Mark On May - 27 - 2011 1 Comment

Brendan, you lowest-common-denominator, fart-joke writing, hack.  That guy deserved to be tossed from the Trop for lots of reasons, chief among them, his shirt is lazy.

Aren’t you a comedian?  Shouldn’t you know a lazy gag when you see one?  Wearing a “Yankees S*ck” t-shirt is the baseball equivalent of opening your standup act with “I just flew in from the coast and, boy, are my arms tired.”  Got any chicken-crossed-the-road-jokes we haven’t heard?  I mean, I gotta buy two drinks here, give me something.

First, let’s agree that anyone arguing that a shirt identifying a group of people and saying that they “s*ck” is, by definition, obscene.  You might not find it offensive because you live amongst the heathens in that city of indulgence, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t obscene.  Don’t believe me?  Then answer this question in a way appropriate for my daughters to hear: “Daddy, what do the Yankees suck?”  If that guy was standing up in the row in front of me yelling that expression and I was there with my girls, I’d tell him to pipe down.  And so would you.  Wearing a t-shirt with the expression is no different.

[Incidentally, if anyone should understand this rule, it is you.  I think we still own the record for most consecutive fan ejections from Plant girls volleyball games and, most of those ejections were for taunts far less offensive  -- and far funnier -- than a "Yankees S*ck" shirt.]

But, obscenity aside, the real reason this guy needed to be run is because he is a lazy fan.  Is “you s*ck” really the best we can do?  Are we this desperate to act like Boston fans?  What’s next, chanting “Yankees s*ck” at a Bucs championship parade? Do we think players even hear lazy chants like that?

Of course they don’t, because they hear it everywhere, so it blends into the background.  We need to be better.  We need to be like those lunatics in Vancouver that wear the green suits and taunt the guys in the penalty box.  At least they have a new act that distracts visiting players.

You want to taunt the Yankees, then make fun of Posada pouting like a child, make fun of Baby George, make fun of their assistant to the traveling secretary that got them those cotton uniforms that shrunk in the wash, tell them you don’t like their firm, tell them you don’t like their idea, tell them you don’t like their f-ing neck time.  But be funny.  Be original.  Be creative.  And, most importantly, don’t wear a t-shirt you bought outside of Fenway Park.

Categories: Point-Counterpoint

One Response

  1. Merrill says:

    I have a shirt that says:

    Redsox
    And
    Yankees
    Suck

    Just like that. It gets LOTS of loving, and even the pink hat nation at Fenway got a kick out of it when I wore it there last year. And yes, I was wearing that shirt and screaming “YANKEES SUCK” at the top of my lungs on the same night when this fan got kicked. There were 20k people screaming those EXACT WORDS for half an inning in the Trop when the Rays made their rally and beat the Evil Empire that night, and you know who wasn’t offended? Anybody. Nobody….cared…because we were united as a crowd (except the Yankee sellouts with the sideways hats that got up and left in that inning).

    Sorry Mark, Brendan wins this one hands down.

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