Brendan you fashion-challenged nitwit.  Of course you like the skipper’s new glasses.   You and your hipster California friends spend all day bumming around your local Abercrombie trying on K-Fed’s new line of fedoras.

Joe is known for three things: 1) His glasses, 2) His Elmer Fudd hat; 3) His Rosa Parks-esque fight for hoody wearers everywhere.  When your glasses are a cornerstone of your public identity, you can’t change them.  That totally undermines your mojo.

That’s like Michael Jackson throwing on a second glove, Christina Aguilera wearing a turtleneck, Paris Hilton wearing drawers, Flav-o-Flav wearing a wristwatch, or Lady GaGa hitting up The Gap.

Also, isn’t baseball all about superstition?  To quote the great Crash Davis: “If you think you’re winning because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wearing lady’s underwear, then you are.”

Umm.  Memo to the Skipper.  You won 2 AL East Titles wearing the old glasses.  Why change now?  Wasn’t last season the time for a change coming off 2009′s 3rd Place finish?  Now is not the time for new.  (See Ramirez, Manny).

Joe.  Don’t listen to Brendan.  You made the right move leaving California for Tampa.  Brendan got it backwards.  Stay with us here Joe and stick to your iconic image.  Return to your specs and don’t worry about California.  I am sure Brendan will make sure he tries on all the new Hollister T-Shirts in your absence.