Perhaps the Rays’ never-ending stadium issue was resolved by Mother Nature last night. According to the morning papers, the Trop was struck by lightning before last night’s first pitch temporarily disabling banks of lights and causing some speakers to “drone.”
Based on baseball movies, we now know what is going to happen.
Rays fans are going to pick up the roster — the glowing core of the park — and brand it with a lightning bolt and the word “Wonder Boys.” Then, they are going to set out on a journey for Tampa where their prized possession can be fully appreciated.
The journey is not going to be easy though. Mayor Foster is already on the train, wearing a black dress and veil, ready to ask if the Wonder Boys are the best there ever was. Stay away from him. You gotta trust me on this one.
If we can waylay Foster’s silver bullet, then it’s smooth sailing to Tampa where the Wonder Boys will take the town by storm. No one, not Judge Vince Naimoli (seriously, The Natural was written about Vince…right?), not Howard “Max Mercy” Troxler, not even a young Kim Bassinger can keep the Wonder Boys from stardom.
Eventually, however, the Wonder Boys will break, because they don’t have a park in Tampa to call home. That’s when we’ll turn to Bobby Savoy and tell him to pick us out a winner.
Welcome, Rays fans, to Savoy Special Field, future home of your Tampa Bay Rays.